Iowans & Temperature:
65 above zero:
Floridians turn on the heat.
People in Iowa plant gardens.
60 above zero:
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People in Iowa sunbathe.
50 above zero:
Italian & English cars won't start.
People in Iowa drive with the windows down.
40 above zero:
Georgians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, and wool hats.
People in Iowa throw on a flannel shirt.
35 above zero:
New York city landlords finally turn up the heat.
People in Iowa have the last cookout before it gets cold.
20 above Zero:
People in Miami all die.
Iowans close the windows.
Zero:
Californians fly away to Mexico .
People in Iowa get out their winter coats.
10 below zero:
Hollywood disintegrates.
The Girl Scouts in Iowa are selling cookies door to door.
20 below zero:
Washington DC runs out of hot air.
People in Iowa let the dogs sleep indoors.
30 below zero:
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
Iowans get upset because they can't start their snow-mobiles.
40 below zero:
ALL atomic motion stops.
People in Iowa start saying...'cold enough fer ya?'
50 below zero:
Hell freezes over.
Iowa public schools will open 2 hours late.
Political & Virus Jokes
Bill Gate's Hurricane Prevention
Washington Post's Best
All Puns Intended
Temperature is Relative - Iowa
My favorite humor writer, Patricia Draznin